One of the things I’ve observed while teaching firearms is that in general, there is a significant difference between teaching women and teaching men.
Teaching women is normally pretty easy: They generally start under the assumption that I know more than they do, they try to perform the shooting techniques as I’ve taught them, and they don’t randomly add extras to their technique because they think they know how to shoot better.
Teaching men is often annoying: They start with the assumption that they are already competent shooters, they generally attempt to “adjust” the technique I’ve given them because “they know what works for them” and often they make decisions about whether or not they should practice a particular technique or use it based on whether or not “it feels right for them.”
In other words, many men seem to think that genetics has given them an innate understanding of firearms, that plinking at a pop can at 15 feet with a .22 rifle has trained them in solid technique with a firearm, and that their perusal of YouTube videos of High-Speed Operators(tm) teaches them how to Operate since said videos are exactly like what happens in reality.
I wish I was kidding.
Now, this isn’t universal—one particular female comes immediately to mind, who used a bowling draw and a teacup grip to shoot slow-fire at a full-size silhouette at about 10 feet, and when I suggested some different techniques, assured me with strong confidence that this is how she was trained in law enforcement for high-speed shooting.
And plenty of guys actually listen and learn perfectly well.
Nonetheless—it is certainly true that EGO is alive, well, and Operational in the world of shooting. So–how’s YOUR ego?
Do you have a healthy ego that drives you to be a better shooter? (There is an assumption here that you want to be at least a competent shooter. If you don’t, then never mind.) Or do you have an EGO that requires you to defend it often, that gets in the way of admitting to error that can be fixed, that means that not only will you not ever learn to be better, but won’t even test yourself for fear that you might fail in front of others?
I was talking with a female shooter I know, and she told me about a discussion she had recently. She was talking about competition shooting to a guy who was “training” a female friend of hers to shoot, and he said he’d never want to shoot competitions because he’d just get too competitive about it. Her response to me?
“What I heard was ‘I suck at shooting and don’t want anyone to know.’ Isn’t that what you heard? That’s what I heard.”
You know—I’ve gotta admit, I often think that too. Because seriously, shooting competitions are FUN. If you like shooting in general, then you’ll like shooting competitions. There is something out there that fits what type of shooting you like to do. And they are tons of fun.
So if you give me excuses about how competition shooting will get you killed, or that you don’t want to take time from your tactical training, or that you don’t want to do it because you’ll get too competitive, or whatever else—that’s fine. Everyone gets to have their own opinions, everyone gets to make their own choices—no problem.
But I can’t help hearing in my head “I suck at shooting and don’t want anyone to know.”
…and my head often adds an addendum: “And my ego can’t take people knowing about my actual level of skill when I’ve bragged on myself so much. Matter of fact, my ego can’t take ME knowing exactly what my real level of skill is, because I have this great beautiful picture of myself as The Ultimate Shooter in my head, and I can’t have that destroyed.”
Do you really want to be competent with a firearm? Want to get better? Be more skilled? Do you really want to have a good measure of your level, so you can increase that level?
Or is your ego so big and so fragile that you can’t afford to show your actual shooting skill in comparison with others, in front of others?
Which is more important to you—your ego and fantasy view of yourself, or having a good time shooting while getting a realistic view of yourself?